When you’re not rampaging the weights, you’re floating high like a kite, scratching your skin like an addict and trying to not lift any weights during your rest periods (you’re no f**king crossfitter). It’s perfectly normal to find yourself craving the sweet, cool aid flavor during awkward times such as during sex, sleep, or even at your parole hearing.

Wait, parole hearing? Yes you read that right. Supplements are expensive. How do you think you’re going to support your habit of a tub a day? Mowing lawns? Wake the f**K up and go commit some petty crimes. Your workouts in a hour and your all out of gym coke…